Release Date – 8/7/09
A weapons manufacturer named MARS headed by James McCullen has developed an advanced technology called Nanobytes which will eat through any type of metal. They are selling this weapon to the military. Duke and Ripcord are on the team chosen to transport this weapon. While in transport, they are attacked by The Baroness and her men but saved by a secret military group called GI Joe. Duke and Ripcord then join this elite military team led by General Hawk in order to take down the people who were sent to attack them which just so happens to be led by the guy who sold them the weapon in the first place. This movie is action packed and pretty nonstop in that department. It’s a bit cheesy but in the right places. It definitely fits in the genre of summer popcorn flick.
Channing Tatum takes the lead on this movie as Duke. He’s not the greatest actor and is pretty boring at times but he has so many characters around him that not too much lies on his shoulders. Marlon Wayans plays his longtime buddy Ripcord. He’s pretty much in this movie to provide the one liners and give a little comedic relief to Tatum’s always serious character. In the toy world of GI Joe there are probably thousands of characters. In the movie we focus on Duke, Ripcord, Snake Eyes (Ray Park), Scarlett (Rachel Nichols), Heavy Duty (Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje), Breaker (Said Taghmaoui), and General Hawk (Dennis Quaid). They all do a decent job except Quaid who is WAY over the top and just comes off like an over-actor. On the Cobra side we get McCullen (Christopher Eccleston), Baroness (Sienna Miller), Zartan (Arnold Vosloo), Storm Shadow (Byung-hun Lee), The Doctor and some others thrown in here and there. But this isn’t officially Cobra yet. This is an origin story about how this insane Doctor becomes Cobra Commander. They are really banking on a sequel here. I didn’t mention who plays Cobra Commander because it’s a big reveal in the movie. I think they screwed up by announcing the actor when he was cast but people who don’t follow that stuff online would still be surprised. The Doctor/Cobra Commander is AWESOME! He’s like a cartoon character in a live action movie. I loved his voice.
There are many negatives to this movie as well. They really blew their load with CGI. Sometimes it looks like you’re watching an animated movie because not one single “real” thing is on the screen. Other times it looks pretty badass. The widely bashed accelerator suits are incredibly silly but thankfully only used in one scene. It just didn’t feel like GI Joe when they were using these things. Most of the backstories were told through quick flashbacks but at least they tried providing some background info. But in the end I feel the positives outweigh the negatives. Snakes Eyes and Storm Shadow fight on 2 different occasions and both are really cool. The chicks are SMOKIN hot. Good lord they did some magic with those costumes. And like I said in the beginning, the action is pretty nonstop. Also, its pretty violent. Lots of deaths, stabbings, heads exploding, etc. It doesn’t feel long like Transformers 2 and it never slows down to bore you. There were reports that director Stephen Sommers really shit the bed with this movie and had to be saved by a known “fixer” in the industry before the movie was widely released. If that’s true then I must give the guy props because it worked for me. Its getting the same score I gave Transformers but I genuinely enjoyed GI Joe a bit more.
IMDB – 6/10
Rotten Tomatoes – 38%
Movie Wiseguys – 7/10